


Still Captive

by Redleafmornings



Series: Not How It's Meant To Be [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, Captivity, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Fixation, Fluff and Smut, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Panic Attacks, Permanent Injury, Possessive Behavior, Size Kink, Smut, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:19:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 23,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6548545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redleafmornings/pseuds/Redleafmornings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being left behind on a mission, Mitaka is captured by the resistance. When he returns to the Finalizer, he no longer feels free in his old life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am screaming the very sweet Hydrajen did art for this fic :D It might contain spoilers for this part in the series so I will just link it here and then later in the fic I will actually have it inside :D [ the art ](http://hydrajen.tumblr.com/post/153707634412/quickie-for-redcole)

Dopheld was tired and angry and humiliated at his easy capture. It hadn’t taken long, when Kylo had made his escape they had continued to scan the area for any other ships they may have not noticed. They had picked him up and before the sun was up he had been surrounded. 

He had been standing ankle deep in mud clinging to the blaster that Kylo had left him. He had been shot before he had been able to finish bringing the weapon up. Unlike his own, the resistance had obviously had their weapons set to stun, and he had woken up with a large machine scanning him. 

Dopheld understood what it was, they were checking for biological bombs that he may have had implanted, it would pick up any DNA that was not his own. Most of it would be the mud and whatever else he may have picked up from his great attempt at escape. 

He couldn’t move, and at some point he realised he had been changed. He was in a prison outfit and he was cuffed to the gurney. 

The machine finished and he could see a tech speaking with someone in a resistance uniform. Their debate was heated and Dopheld was starting to wonder if he had been implanted with something beyond his knowledge. 

A moment later the resistance officer left, and it was almost half an hour of being prodded at before she returned. 

This time she had two guards with her and they started unlocking him only from the gurney, keeping his hands together. 

Dopheld wanted to ask questions, he wanted to know if this was it, if they were taking him to be executed, but he didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. 

They brought him to what he assumed was an interrogation room, but it wasn’t like the ones the Order had. There were no interrogator droids, and only a chair that was made to lock the prisoner up in. 

He fought as they tried to lock him in, taking his chance that their guard was down. He managed to elbow the one on his right in the face, and yank away from the other, but quickly everything went dark as he felt a shock against his back. 

\

Dopheld woke up a second time and this time the throbbing in his ankle was more noticeable. As he took a look around the room he realised he was no longer alone. There was an older women sitting at a small table across from him. It must have been added while he was out. 

He tested the cuffs; he was thoroughly locked in his seat, and could only slightly roll his ankle to ease the pain. That was the only thing he was feeling besides an ache in his lower back from the rough sex he had enjoyed with Kylo. That pain at least brought a warm memory, a way to escape at least in his head. 

Dopheld tried to bring back the memory of the sonic shower they had shared. He knew his neck was covered in the knights marks and despite himself he felt a blush on his neck. 

“I was beginning to think we were going to have to wake you.”

Dopheld ignored the women’s words, and as he settled in the chair he looked past her unseeing. 

“I want you to know no one is watching this. It’s just us.”

Dopheld understood what it probably meant, that it was a threat, letting him know that he was about to die. It scared him, but only in the way that he had known since he was caught that he wasn’t going to make it out alive.

The treat already hung over him.

She looked like she tasted something bad, and when he didn’t respond she spoke again.

“When we scanned you we found DNA on you.”

It took him a second to realise what she was referring to and he felt the blush creep up higher. He still didn’t speak, and he wished that if she did plan to kill him that it would at least be soon so he didn’t have to hear about his sex life from his enemy. 

Dopheld moved his ankle and used the pain that he sent to help him try and hide his embarrassment. 

He could see the woman was getting angry at his silence, frustrated at his lack of response. She seemed to want to wait it out, but finally she spoke again.

“Who are you to Kylo Ren?”

She asked, and he almost didn’t answer. It was only because he knew that there was no hope of being saved that made him speak. It was better if they knew he was worthless to them. Better a quick execution than hours of torture. They would get nothing out of having him. 

“I will be replaced. They will not barter for me.”

Saying the words out loud had a finality to it, and as much as he wished that he could see Kylo again he knew he had done the right thing. 

“That wasn’t what I asked.”

Dopheld hated his reactive skin, his cheeks flushed even as he refused to say more. He shifted in his seat and tried to think of the day before, of lying in Kylo’s arms and feeling his hands all over his body. It helped him calm down a little; at least he had had a few good days.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo had known he was going to be punished, but he had returned to the Finalizer first, telling them he needed repairs before he could continue onto his meeting with Snoke. 

Instead he has used the chance to tell Hux where he had left Mitaka behind, and that it should be noted that the young Lieutenant was the only reason he had gotten away. He mentioned that Mitaka should get a commendation for his actions and Hux had sneered and made a comment that the wrong person had managed to escape. 

After Kylo had cooled down he made sure that the general had ordered a team to pick him up. 

Then he had felt safe to continue on to Snoke, this time he made it there unharmed, and while pain had seared through his mind at his lateness, Kylo had known it was worth it. 

It wasn’t until after he returned from his training that he realised it had never happened. They had arrived to find out they were too late. 

Hux refused to trade for him, and when Kylo found out he had blacked out in his rage. 

The ship had taken the brunt of it, but when he felt like he could breathe again he stole away to his ship. Sitting down to contemplate what it meant. 

Since they didn’t know where the bases were he could hardly go after him, and since Hux had already executed the prisoner he had nothing to trade for. He would give Hux that, the man was brutally efficient. 

If he wanted Dopheld back it meant that Kylo either had to find someone and contact the resistance on his own, or he had to find out where their base was. He supposed that one could lead to the other. 

Kylo paused because he knew it could be considered treason in a way, going against the First Order. He waved the thought away, after all he wouldn’t be taking anything from the Order, he would only be returning one of their best officers. It just happened that he may have formed an attachment to said officer. 

He had finished his training and although Snoke had given him orders to hunt down force users, erasing any that may spring up now that the resistance knew where Skywalker was, he knew that could wait. His knights would be able to start without him. Kylo may be punished again, but he knew he could live through it.

As he looked through the database he started to look for a planet that was known to be sympathetic to the resistance. He could start his search there, and either find a good hostage or his way back to Mitaka. 

Kylo felt like he owed him, not only for helping him escape the resistance, but also helping him escape the reality of what he had done. 

It may have been unhealthy coping, but he felt attached to the Lieutenant. He was the first person that Kylo had been able to connect to both physically and mentally. Dopheld felt so important to him now. It had been different in the last month while he was training. He had assumed that Dopheld would have been back on the Finalizer. 

Now that he knew that he was still being held it made him sick to his stomach, he felt it fixated in his mind. 

He started looking through their databases, trying to pick a place to start. 

No matter what he had to do he would pay Dopheld back for what he had given him.


	3. Chapter 3

Dopheld was moved to what he now knew as the interrogation room. It had been a while since he was here. By his count he had been in different cells for a month and a half by his estimates. The first base he was captive at was rougher, after his first visit their tactics more like what he would expect from the Order. He had been trained to withstand it, and he told them nothing that would be of any use.

In the duller moments he had never felt comfortable. They had kept it too cold, and noise running in his cell to keep him awake, ever changing so that his mind couldn’t adjust. He was brought out for interrogations enough that he started to lose track of the days, it no longer seemed like once a day. It was why he didn’t have a perfect grasp on how long it had been.

Although he had been too proud at first to eat the slop that they served he had started to eat it after being force fed a few times.

Then finally he had been moved after what he thought was maybe a month. This place didn’t hold the confusing fear, but it held a terror of its own. This was the end of the line. He was going to have a trail that would lead to his execution. He was so tired that sometimes he wondered if it wasn’t for the best, that it could finally end. Any attempts he had made for escape had been met with failure.

His only breaks were when he was brought to their interrogation room each day.

Many people in the resistance had lost family in the end of the Hosnian system, and he was the only one they had to take it out on. The guard who brought him today had left bruises over his arm and a few on his side. Dopheld didn’t know her name, but he knew she lost her husband and son and looked forward to his trail. 

The older women he had spoken with the first time began to visit him again now that he had been moved. Without the confusion and pain it was a little easier to place the familiar face as Leia Organa. He had seen her files a while back; she was one of the resistance leaders. 

At first he hadn’t spoken at all, but over time they had become almost friendly even with his refusal to answer any questions about the Order. That was not why she was there anyway. 

“They won’t agree to a prisoner exchange.”

It had been weeks, he knew they had tried to trade him for a pilot that had been captured, but the response had been that the First Order did not negotiate with terrorists. 

Dopheld knew Leia was trying to get through to him, trying to find common ground, that is why each week she would come by and speak about Kylo and who he used to be. It was odd, sometimes she would show him holos and sometimes she would just tell him stories. 

Dopheld hadn’t been sure where she had gotten the material until he had seen a younger version of her holding a child that could only be Kylo Ren. 

He had been stunned at the realisation that Leia Organa was Kylo’s mother, and it made sense why she was trying to reach him through her son. It was one of the few things they had in common. It was one of the only ways that she had to reach her son, this wasn’t really about him at all. 

Dopheld could see it once he realised. The shape of her face, the eyebrows, the shape of her face and a lot of her expressions were shared. The way that when she was annoyed she also got a wrinkle between her eyes, now echoed the look that Kylo got when he was working on the ship.

General Organa had once said that she felt that Kylo was still conflicted, and that she was sure there was good in him. At that point he had realised why she wanted to do the trade. If Dopheld returned she might be able to reach out to Kylo again through him. 

He wasn’t willing to do that, not even for the only person who had been kind to him since he had been captured. Dopheld was only embarrassed that it took him so long to realise what she wanted with him. 

So while he felt disappointment at the refusal, he also felt a little relieved. This was a path he knew the end to, besides a few days with Kylo didn’t allow him the closeness that General Organa thought he had and he refused to speak of their relationship enough to set her straight. 

“I already knew that ma'am.” 

He said, looking down at his hands he make sure he looked calm despite the growing knot in his stomach. 

“We are going to have to start a trial; I’ll make sure you have counsel for it.”

There was no way that he would be ruled as anything other than guilty. They had enough of his file to know what his job was. Even if they didn’t know about his work on Starkiller base his work on the Finalizer was enough to damn him.

“Thank you.”

It was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. 

“If you join our cause I am sure they would be more lenient in the ruling.”

It was a quiet plea. 

“Thank you ma’am, but I’ll still have to refuse.”


	4. Chapter 4

It had taken a few days to find people that he thought were part of the resistance. It had taken a little longer to be around them enough to skip their minds to the point where he actually found what he was looking for. 

They hadn’t been resistance, but they had led him a family that was. Kylo hated that time was passing, that Dopheld was left with them. Every day that he was a prisoner was a day that Kylo didn’t know what was happening to him. Everything felt a little more out of control when he didn’t know.

When he had found the resistance fighters he had bided his time only long enough to make sure that he could capture them unharmed. Kylo might need them to trade. He had waited until night and then forced their minds into sleep. It had taken a bit of effort to bring them to his ship, but once he did he only returned to search for a communication device. 

In the end he had had to pull it from the man’s head. There had been a secret panel in the back of the cupboard, and there he had found it. He could still feel the fear from the man’s mind hanging around him, but he told himself it was worth it. 

It took a while to figure out how to work it and to realise he wouldn’t be able to trace the signal. One thing the resistance had managed to get down was how to hide, none of the family had seemed to know where the base had moved. His lip curled in distaste. He was just glad he kept his hostages alive. He would have to do a trade for sure. 

It was times like this he was glad he had a replacement helmet, he set it in place, letting it lock on before he called the resistance.

The small screen took a moment, almost long enough to make him think he would have to find a new one. Then he saw a resistance uniform and he felt the sneer settle on his face. The man showed fear and Kylo knew he needed to speak before the connection was cut.

As much as he hated to admit it, there was only one person out of the resistance that he knew that he could trust. 

“Get General Organa, I have a trade we need to arrange.”

He tilted the screen to show the family passed out behind him. 

“She’s not here, you will have to deal with me.”

The words were firm, but Kylo knew better.

“Not acceptable. You can have her call this unit before the day is out.”

He didn’t have to finish the threat, they would know what happened to hostages once they had no use. 

Kylo sat back in frustration, he needed to remain calm. Something he hadn’t been able to feel since he finished his so called training. He felt more shattered that ever, tired and just wanting something or someone familiar to get lost in. 

A someone who was just beyond his reach. 

He tried to meditate, but he couldn’t find peace. Irritation ran through his body as the hours passed. Finally the screen lit up and he tried not to let himself hope. 

It was shocking to see her face, aged since he had last seen. He had seen her files, but it didn’t show the weary look that hung on her face. She looked like someone who had lost all hope, but kept going anyway. It was the determination that had left him alone for most of his life. The look matched his own bitterness. 

“I want to trade prisoners, I don’t trust the resistance with this, so you will have to carry this out yourself. I want the release of Dopheld Mitaka.”

She started to open her mouth. He didn’t want to hear it, in fact he felt panic flutter in his chest at the thought of hearing her voice again after all these years. 

“Do not speak, send me coordinates where we will trade prisoners. Any attempts made against me will be met with death.” 

“Ben-”

He cut the transmission as his chest tightened. Kylo had to pause and take deep long breaths to calm the panic tightening his chest. The last time he had heard that name he had killed Han Solo, something that still haunted him, that still weakened his connection to the force. 

Kylo felt twisted up as he waited. He was never more thankful for his helmet than at that moment. 

Coordinates finally came through and he clung to it. He trusted General Organa with this, while the other traitors may try and double cross him she would do it just to get close to him. He could feel it. 

This was one step closer to Mitaka.


	5. Chapter 5

Leia had been the one to find him. Although she understood anger she was horrified to find Dopheld limp and disfigured. He was unmoving in a small hallway on the base. This was what they were fighting against. 

There had been a lot of anger over him not going on trial, people needed someone to pay for the Hosnian system and they had finally had someone. Now the trade was going to steal that away from them. Someone had made him pay, as far as they could tell it was one of the guards. 

It wasn’t until she felt a pulse below the mess that was his face that she was sure she could breathe again. 

It was selfish, but he was the only way to get close to her son. She could feel there was still light in Ben, and she was sure that Dopheld brought it out in him. They would never be fully okay, there was too much between them now, but she was sure there was something better out there for her son. Something that wasn’t the First Order.

After he had been brought to the med bay it had taken a while before she knew that she would be able to travel as planned. He had gone through surgery to replace the right side of his jaw and put a brace into his right arm while it healed. After than he had been put into a bacta tank to try and heal him enough to travel. It cost a lot them to use the tank but they had no other choice. Kylo wouldn’t wait, and she wouldn’t have death at his hands if she could stop it.

There was going to be a lot of pain, but Dopheld would be able to move to Ben. That was all she needed as she wasn’t going to be able to carry him herself. 

She had felt the weight of her failure as a parent, the weight of all Kylo’s deeds added to it.

Leia had given up on ever reaching Ben through his emotions after he had murdered Han. Now she saw a second chance now, for both of them. She wasn’t sure she would ever fully forgive him, but she did want him back in way. Even as she heard his distorted voice through the mask she could feel that he was wavering.

The young man may have been as much of a murder as her son, but she had a hard time hating either of them. 

When time came she helped Dopheld move into the co-pilots seat in his cuffs and he had only lolled there. The medication alone had in a daze. 

The ship was on auto pilot most of the flight, and she knew as maybe her only chance she needed to make a move now or never. 

“Dopheld, I would like you to give Ben a message.”

He blinked slowly the right side of his face still swollen. 

“Can’t.”

His voice slurred slightly from his new jaw implant, it would take a while for him to adjust to using it.

There was no way she was going to take no for an answer so she reached out and took the cuff of his jumpsuit in her hands. She used the knife strapped to her belt to cut the tread on the cuff as he watched. Dopheld didn’t fight her, but she wasn’t sure he could. 

Once she had the cuff open she reached into her pouch and took out a small message she had recorded for her son. Leia pressed the chip into the open cuff where it was effectively hidden. 

Dopheld was watching and she counted on it. Maybe someday Kylo would waver and Dopheld could show him that there was still a way to the light.


	6. Chapter 6

Kylo had been agitated since he arrived, he came early made sure there was no trap set and he was glad to see he was right. He knew it was best to make the trade quickly just in case. 

It took him a bit to drag out each one of his hostages, he still kept their minds in a state of sleep and he tied them to each other. He wanted to make it difficult for Leia to free them, so that he would be able to leave with the lieutenant before he could be dragged into conversation. 

Kylo could hardly wait to see Dopheld. He hadn’t seen him for so long, touched him in what felt like ages. 

He felt steadier than he had since he finished his training. The conflict felt far back in mind while he fixated on what was about to happen and on Dopheld. Part of Kylo wanted to be uncovered so that he could look at Dopheld with his own eyes, but the weakness he felt when he had looked at his father would only be deeper if Leia came out of the ship. 

It took him a while to feel secure in the area, and he paused to wait. He took the time to try and meditate to bring his nerves down. 

When he heard the ship he could feel a trickle of sweat slip down his back. Kylo rolled his shoulders to try and get rid of any stiffness and he tried to steel himself against what was about to happen. 

The ship set down softly and shortly the blast door opened. 

There were footsteps only seconds after.

Even though he had seen her on a screen just the day before seeing her in person sent a shock through his body. 

He could see more past the blurry screen, he could truly see how time had marked her. Even then somethings had stayed the same. The hair that was braided around her head he could remember so well. 

Watching her style her hair when he was young, and then when she allowed him to braid it, and his fingers had ran through her long hair. There had been days when she had gone to the senate with her hair in a messy braid, acting as if she was as proud of it as if she had done it herself. All his memories always seemed to be punctuated by her leaving.

He tried to remind himself that he was beyond her, that Ben was dead, but it hit him like a physical blow. 

The only thing that got him moving was seeing the slow lurching movement behind her. When the figure stepped into the light it took a moment to recognise the man. His dark hair was longer, his frame thin in the jumpsuit and the damage and swelling to his face obscuring his features. 

Kylo didn’t know his stomach could have dropped lower than that moment. The only thing that reassured him was that Dopheld was moving on his own even if he seemed to be struggling with the pain. 

The stunned silence bloomed into rage, that they had done this to the young lieutenant. He should have killed hostages, but it was too late now, he needed to get him to a First Order medical bay. Kylo felt slightly dizzy as he repressed the anger, but his long strides brought him closer to Dopheld. 

He could see the implant on his jaw, and he wondered if he had come sooner that maybe Mitaka wouldn’t look so broken. Kylo wished he could have found it, that he could have killed anyone that had laid a hand on Dopheld while he was captive. 

It was hard to concentrate or to look past Leia to make sure no one else was coming for him; Kylo hardly managed out of instinct. 

It was hard to think past his emotions and continue to the lieutenant. 

It felt like it took forever to stand in front of the Dopheld, and he reached out. 

“Kylo.”

The voice was familiar, a little slurred, but his name was said like a prayer. It sounded like Dopheld didn’t really believe he was going to see him.

Kylo didn’t want him to hurt anymore so he reached into his mind and pushed him into sleep. He managed to scoop him up before Dopheld hit the ground. 

He felt how thin he was. It wasn’t enough to be worrying, but enough that the anger was hard to think past. 

It felt thick around him, and he licked his lips, glad he had the helmet to hide. 

“Ben.” 

Kylo paused in his steps, the last time he heard it it had been from his father’s lips. He could feel his hands trembling, and he held Dopheld closer. He couldn’t humour this, what he had done would already be incriminating enough when Snoke looked through his mind. 

He forced himself to rush to his ship; he was glad that his helmet helped to dull the world around him.

“Ben, look at me.”

It was the stern tone he had heard all his childhood, the general. It was a reflex that made him look. 

“Ben is dead.”

He forced the words out and tried not to rush inside the ship. Kylo felt like he was a child again, hiding from his mother’s angry voice. He closed the doors as soon as he was able and set Dopheld in the co-pilots seat. He didn’t pause until they were rising into the sky. 

Kylo indulged himself with one last look at the ground where she was cutting the hostages free before keying in a halfway point between the planet and the closest First Order base. 

While the ship jumped to hyperspace he started to look at the implant on Dopheld’s jaw, he had to make sure there were no trackers on him before they made it the rest of the way. He may have trusted Leia, but only to a point. When he was sure there was nothing in there he checked over his arm and then readjusted their coordinates. 

Kylo would get them to replace the tech, but for the moment he started to look deeper at the wounds. The force had been failing him lately, but he managed to look inside, see the bruises on bone and broken blood vessels. 

He took the time for them to reach the base to repair what he could. Guilt may have made it a little harder to concentrate, this had all happened because he had left him behind. Dopheld had been willing to die for him and he almost had. Kylo knew it was duty that made him do it, but that didn’t change the fact that he still had.

Kylo brushed his fingers through the dark hair and looked at his face. It would all be repairable, except for the implant which he would always need. He was sure the first order would be able to replace it with a smaller one. 

When they were close he sent in his request to land.


	7. Chapter 7

Dopheld woke slowly, the dull grey around him was only somewhat reassuring, the panels looked like the same ones used in all First Order facilities. 

It looked like every home he had ever known.

Everything hurt a little less than the last time he was awake, but when he moved his jaw he felt the strange slide of something mechanical. 

He tried not to think of the feeling of the foot coming down on his face and the feeling of it shattering, he felt sick to his stomach at the memory. Dopheld thought he was going to die, and when the pain was too much and he started to black out he never expected to wake. 

It took a few seconds to put everything back together, between the medication and everything that had happened. 

He was wearing the usual Order medical gowns, and then he remembered Kylo. 

Kylo had been in his mask, but he had come for him. It was against the Orders protocol, and yet he had still done it. 

He started to look down at his body, moving his arm and seeing a brace. He couldn’t feel anything, even normal sensations when he touched it and he guessed it was the brace. Dopheld recognised it enough to know that it was there to help regrew bone. It wouldn’t be forever, maybe a year. 

At some point he had brought his arm up as much as he could to protect his face and it had fared just as well. 

Other than that he felt hints of deep soreness in his leg, back, and sides. Dopheld had to touch his face to make sure that it was as healed as it felt. Other than the implant on the outside that could be calibrated if there was ever any problem it felt strangely whole. 

He took a deep breath and then reached in his mouth; feeling over the teeth that he knew shouldn’t be there. They had done a good job replacing it. It was hard to tell between the prosthetic and what was real. Dopheld moved his jaw again and ground his teeth together to get a feel for it. It was different, there wasn’t the large click in his jaw he was used to, and instead it slid a little too easy. 

Licking his tongue over his teeth he tried to relax, he was with his people. The thought wasn’t too reassuring; he knew the psytechs would come for him soon. That much he knew, after spending time in enemy hands he would have to. His thoughts would betray him, even though he had never given up any important information sometimes he had wavered and that was enough.

Reconditioning was something he had always avoided, it was no longer avoidable. 

He had just woken up and he was still tired.

“You’re awake.”

Kylo’s voice was clear, unobstructed by his helmet and he turned his head to look at him. 

His dark hair was messy, but other than that he looked just like he had the last time they had been together. One of his gloved hands reached out and brushed the hair from his forehead. It was the move of someone who was feeling fond. 

It felt like eternity since someone had touched him so soft and he needed it. Dopheld leaned into it as he attempted to sit up. 

He wobbled a little and a strong arm slipped around his waist to help him sit. 

“You’re been out for a while.”

“How long?”

His own voice sounded off, a little bit of a slur as he tried to adjust to the feeling of his new jaw.

“I kept you under for two days, so that you would heal faster.”

Dopheld didn’t want to move again, he rested his face against his shoulder. 

“You’re fine to leave the med bay now if you would like, the rest will be up to your own body.”

Kylo continued and he felt a hand running over his back. It was like the knight didn’t know what to do with him, but Dopheld was honestly glad. He didn’t want to think about his capture let alone talk about it. 

“Are we on the Finalizer?”

He tried to concentrate more, control the way he sounded. The hand ran over his back again, coming up to rub his shoulder. 

“No, I brought us to a base, it was closer.”

With the touch he started to relax into it, slipping an arm around his waist.

“You waited here with me.”

Kylo made a noise of agreement.

“After all I went through I wanted to make sure that you were fine.”

It sounded clinical, but Dopheld was sure it meant more. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come for him when it went against the rules of the First order, and it he wouldn’t have been in the room when no one else was. 

“I would like to leave the med bay.”

He admitted, and finally Kylo pulled away, only enough to give him room to slide off the gurney and onto the floor. 

Dopheld felt a little unsteady on his feet and he knew he needed food, he also needed clothing. 

“I’ll bring you back to my command shuttle.”

It sounded safe; no psytech would dare come for him there. 

“Please.”

It still felt strange to talk. Kylo kept his arm around him; their only detour was so that he could put his helmet in place before they started walking the halls. 

Dopheld almost wished he had one as well as he stumbled his way beside Kylo. Still in only a gown he kept his head down anytime they passed someone. It surprised him how tired he felt as he walked through the hallways.

It took longer than he would have liked, but somehow the command shuttle felt like a real part of home. He had gotten to know it so well while they were repairing it. 

Kylo brought him to the small room they had shared and started to undo the front of his gown. 

He felt a spike of panic, the first thing breaking through the numb state he had woken to. He didn’t want to be naked in front of anyone, he knew he didn’t look like he had used to. He didn’t want Kylo to see the changes yet. 

Kylo stopped, and then his hands came up and he removed his helmet. Letting it drop to the floor he took a long look at his face. 

“You don’t have to be scared here, we’ll return to the Finalizer soon and then we’ll finish off every last bit of resistance.”

He had that sound of fanatic pride Kylo sometimes held, it always seemed to be there when things were off. It was the same with the almost unhinged look that he sometimes got.

Dopheld was too tired to say anything more, so he climbed into the bed, keeping his gown on. He rolled over and pressed his back against the wall. He took a long deep breath and took in the scent of the bed. It smelled like Kylo, like the few days they had spent together. 

He had tried to tell himself they were nothing, even though he thought about it often, Kylo was the last person he was with. It obviously hadn’t been nothing; the proof was standing in front of him.

He watched as Kylo started to undress himself, only down to his underwear. The spots that had still been healing the last time he saw him were well scarred, or completely gone. 

The bed moved under the added weight and Kylo opened his arms, welcoming him but not forcing it. 

As much as he wanted food, he wanted to feel more of that soft touch more.


	8. Chapter 8

It had taken a while before the lieutenant had fallen asleep again. Kylo hadn’t forced him to sleep this time, he had only enjoyed holding him and touching him and feeling how Dopheld still responded to him with so much trust. Sometimes Dopheld had tilted his head up and their lips would brush. Kylo would kiss him softly each time, reassurance that the time between them did not change his want. 

Kylo still wanted to be with him, he wanted to give him the same escape that Dopheld had given him on that planet after he had killed his father.

When Dopheld had managed to slip into sleep, he had given off small spikes of fear every once in a while. Kylo assumed that it would take a while for the fear to leave, he had been in captivity long enough to have some lasting effects. 

Kylo didn’t really sleep himself, and each time Dopheld woke he would reassure him he was safe until he drifted off again. 

When he did wake they stayed still, often not even speaking, just gaining solace from each other’s company. At one point Kylo heard Dopheld’s stomach growl and had ordered soup for both of them. If they hadn’t fed Dopheld well in his captivity Kylo didn’t want him to hurt his stomach on anything too rich. 

He had ate like he was starving, and maybe he had been, finishing off Kylo’s bowl as well. 

Even after the meal it took a while before Dopheld finally stayed awake. He still looked tired, but Kylo was sure that he already was looking a little better. The colour in his pale skin looked pinker and Dopheld seemed more alert, like he was taking in the world around him. 

“We’re on the command shuttle.”

It was a statement, but Kylo still nodded. He shifted is body a little closer, slipping his arm around Dopheld’s waist. The lieutenant allowed it, letting himself be pulled flush against him. 

He could feel the bones in his hips and how full he was from the soup he had eaten earlier through the thin gown he was in. Kylo knew it would take time for him to be like he had in the past, both physically and mentally. He just wanted to help him in the way Dopheld had helped him, distraction from the horrors of reality. 

“Yes, and we’ll stay here as long as you need.”

The offer wasn’t completely hollow, within limits they could stay there. By the end of the work cycle he would need to return, Kylo had disobeyed Snoke long enough. At least he could give an illusion, a few days for Dopheld to feel safe again, to know he was home.

“I can’t believe you came for me.”

The words held a bit of the slur from earlier, as if he was having difficulty adjusting to his new jaw.

Kylo slid his hand up his side until he could reach out to touch his face, Dopheld winced at first, but then he slowly relaxed into it, letting the fingers drag over his cheek. 

“You almost died for me, how could I not reward that type of loyalty?”

He kept his voice light, but he meant it. 

“It was my duty to the First Order.”

Mitaka was nuzzling into the hand on his face. Kylo shifted on his arm to move closer, to press a kiss on his soft lips. 

He had missed this, more than he should have; his attachment was more than Kylo knew he was allowed. It didn’t matter though, not with the feeling of Dopheld opening his mouth to him. 

He still tasted like the soup he had eaten, but Kylo didn’t mind as their tongue slid together for the first time since he had brought him back. Dopheld seemed tentative and slow, and obviously not fully comfortable with his new jaw. 

It lasted long enough to appease him, Dopheld slowly melting into the touch. It was as if his body was remembering their time together and unwinding the muscles that were clenched tight. 

Kylo nuzzled his lips as he finished, his arm moving from his jaw back down to his waist and keeping Dopheld pressed against his body.

“I will always come for you.”

The promise had nothing to do with loyalty. Kylo had felt the ache of loneliness that had been with him for such a long time. It had been a long time since he had felt it ease, and only the smaller man in his arms seemed to be able make that happen. Kylo couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so connected to someone. 

Or the last time he had spent so much time with someone.

Almost losing him had only strengthened it. 

“I will always free you,”

Kylo continued.

He could feel Dopheld tense a little in his arms and the fear the pushed off of him. Kylo had known he was coming on strong, but he had hardly thought of much else since he had found out that the lieutenant had been captured. They had more than just a few days together in his head; they had had every moment while Kylo had hunted him down.

Dopheld shook his head even as his body trembled a little.

“I’m not free. I’ll have to go for reconditioning.”

The admission was quiet and in that moment Kylo realised it wasn’t just the resistance that had brought Dopheld to this state of fear. It was his own people. And yet with that strange braveness of Dopheld’s he had already resigned himself to it, he was shaking from fear and still ready to accept what was going to happen. 

Kylo’s fondness deepened. He pulled Dopheld a little closer and tried to ease his mind. When he felt it working and the man in his arms relaxing he spoke again. 

“If you allow me to look through your memories I can vouch for you.”

No one would dare go against that, even that smarmy General Hux.

Dopheld was still a little tense, and when he spoke his words were slow as if he was picking each one carefully.

“I would allow it, but during my captivity I did think about turning a few times.”

Kylo pulled back enough to give the other man the serious look this conversation deserved.

“Did you give up any information that could hurt the order?”

“No.”

“Then you did nothing wrong.”

Dopheld still looked like he wanted to say something. 

“And?”

Kylo encouraged.

“I spoke with General Organa on many occasions.”

The name hit him like a blow; he felt his jaw clench and he worked to relax it. This felt harder to forgive, but he swallowed it down. That name meant nothing to him now, and it was best if he remembered it. 

“It’s of no matter.”

Dopheld gave a little nod, as if to give his consent, the words that followed only cemented it. 

“Then do whatever you need to.”

Kylo knew he hadn’t really earned the trust he was given, it was from being pushed together in difficult situations, the need to have someone else to cling onto, but that didn’t stop him from cherishing it as he started to slowly brush Dopheld’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes they both have terrible coping mechanisms that is quickly turning a fling into something much more. Although neither totally realise how deep they are getting.
> 
> Sorry for the slower updates recently, I have had some complications with my surgery and have been unable to be on the computer for long amounts of time to write.


	9. Chapter 9

It was an odd sensation, feeling of Kylo in his head. It didn’t hurt but he did feel pressure, and he couldn’t thoughts of the last month from popping up. The memories were softened from when he had experienced them, as if it had all been a dream. 

It made it easier to relax into the invasive ability. Sometimes he would feel the connection break, and although Kylo said he did it to keep it from being overwhelming it seemed more like he was having trouble sustaining the ability when he saw Dopheld with his mother. 

Time seemed to melt, it felt like it took hours but when they finally finished it was hardly that much later. It left an odd physical tiredness the touched him down to his bones.

He had thought no one was coming for so long, knowing that the Order could not afford to show weakness. It had taken someone outside the usual structure of the Order to come for him. 

It took a moment to realise that Kylo was touching his face. 

He had been so gentle since Dopheld returned to his ship, gentle enough that he found it calming. It felt like reassurance instead of a demand. 

“Soon there won’t be any of the resistance left, and you will never have to think about them again.”

Kylo murmured, but there was anger barely restrained. He managed to restrain it as he moved in closer and pressed another kiss against his lips. 

Dopheld opened his mouth for him, enjoying feeling the weight of Kylo’s body against him. It felt like safety after remembering the last month. 

He brought his fingers up and dug into the thick dark hair. Pulling it gently and feeling Kylo moan in his mouth. With the slight shift in the kiss his jaw ached and he had to slowly pulled back. Enough of him still hurt that he didn’t want to make anything worse. 

Kylo stayed over him, watching him as he rested back on the pillow. His expression was serious again, his hand coming up to brush the hair off of Dopheld’s face. 

“I have felt the same doubts you have.”

It was a reassurance, that any thoughts he had had of giving up information were nothing Kylo would tell about. It almost felt unbelievable that he wouldn’t have to go to reconditioning. It was strangely private moment for the two of them to share, his mind laid bare. Instead of saying more Dopheld felt pressure again from Kylo. 

He relaxed into it so that Kylo could show him what he wanted. 

There were on Starkiller base, he could see an older man. He understood the feelings rushing through him in the memory. Doubt, pain, and hopelessness. Dopheld felt like he was trapped, he missed a life he would never be able to have again. 

It was choking him.

It was strange experiencing someone else’s memories, but as he watched they started speaking. It felt like the words were coming from his own mouth, the emotions were his own. 

Dopheld wasn’t sure he had ever felt so much, it was hard to understand what they were saying when he could feel it. It was the emotions rather than the words that held him. He watched the lightsaber flash to life and he felt the horror at his own actions. 

The pain he had felt before was nothing compared to now, and as the man touched his face the memory broke and he was slammed into the bed in the ship. He was left gasping trying to understand everything he had been shown. 

Kylo’s face didn’t show the pain that he had felt in his memory, maybe it was dulled to him, but to Dopheld it felt just as fresh as if it had just happened to him. It didn’t matter that his own father was alive, he felt like he had just taken his life.

It didn’t help his own confusion, seeing that Kylo doubted the supreme leader as well. It made him feel less alone, but more unsure than ever.

“Why are you showing me this?”

“Everyone has doubts, even when they are on the right path. You helped me remember that, while I was healing you stayed true to the Order even though you feared me.”

Kylo voice held the edge of the fanatic, as if he was still trying to convince himself.

Dopheld understood Kylo showing him for solidarity, and he was glad that they were curled up and Kylo was no longer in his mind. He wanted Kylo to be touching him while he thought over the information. 

He was quiet, pushing into Kylo’s large hand as it brushed through his hair again. Reassuring touch was slowly quieting the panic that had risen up at the memory. Kylo had killed his own father for the Order, and what had he gained other than doubt. Maybe it would have been different if Kylo had shown him more, but Dopheld felt like it hadn’t helped at all. 

He had never been as unsure as now, after he had seen and felt Kylo’s own doubts.

“I think it will just take time.”

Dopheld finally said, it wasn’t as if he had much of a choice, he would need to return and normalcy would just have to follow. 

Kylo made a noise of agreement and shifted down a little further. Dopheld felt lips against his neck moving up his jaw. He smiled a little as Kylo gave the sensitive skin around his implant attention. He started nuzzling up until Dopheld felt kisses against his lobe. 

This wasn’t like the ones earlier; there was heat behind it now. He didn’t know how the knight could do it; Dopheld was still rocked by the memory. 

It was pleasant, but he knew he should stop it before it went too far. 

“I’m not sure I can.”

Dopheld let the sentence drift off, he’d just gotten back. He still didn’t want to take of the gown and let Kylo see his depleted body. Not while his mind was echoing a pain that wasn’t his own. 

“I understand.”

The kisses slowed ad stilled, but Kylo didn’t pull away or leave.


	10. Chapter 10

Dopheld was skittish, he never left the command ship unless he was with Kylo, but he seemed to be improving. Kylo had dulled his memories, so that they wouldn’t hurt Dopheld as much, but after seeing them he couldn’t help but be filled with anger. 

While Dopheld slept he trained and tried to burn it off, but he would never forget the fear that he had felt in Dopheld. It called for a response, but he wasn’t about to leave yet. They had already taken as long as was possible though.

There was a helplessness of caring for someone, and he hated it. 

It took a few days until they the closeness fully returned. Dopheld still wore underwear to bed, but he was calmer to be touched. The only thing that fully reassured him that things would continue improving was that he was already gaining a little weight. Kylo could see it. 

At night he had nightmares, but they were easy enough to sooth. With words and kisses Dopheld always calmed, he would still in his arms and cling to him as if making sure he was real that he was there. 

It made it a little harder to let him know that they had to return to the Finalizer. Dopheld had accepted it without complaint, only mumbling something about it probably being a good idea that he was returning to his work. 

By the end of the day they had returned, and he found himself unwilling to give up what he had gained. 

He sent Dopheld to his room to rest on his orders, and strode to the bridge. 

“I saw the report.”

He would recognise the voice anywhere, that needling tone that was prepared to defend at any moment. Kylo had put in the report that Dopheld was loyal and would not to be reconditioned. 

“I did what the Order could not, the Lieutenant served me well during the crash and I would see him serve me again.”

General Hux started to puff up at the first comment, and Kylo cut him off before he could launch into a speech. 

“Snoke ordered another culling of force users; I believe that the Lieutenants ability to sift through paperwork could be put to good use.”

Kylo could see that something he said had angered the General because he took a breath, like he needed it to be able to get through all he wanted to say.

“I will have you know that Lieutenant Mitaka is one of the best we have on board. I will not have him wasted on some errand that is not even important to the running of the First Order. He graduated at the top of his class to be stationed on board-”

“Which would make him extremely well qualified to help with the search that Supreme leader Snoke ordered.”

Saying their leaders name had the effect he had hoped and Hux accepted it with a huff.

“I will put through a temporary transfer, for one work cycle. Make sure you keep your temper in check, I doubt the Supreme Leader would be happy to find out that you injured one of the First Orders best lieutenants.”

Kylo took a deep breath and tried ignore the last snipe; he hated how Hux used Snoke in return. In the end he was unable to restrain himself form saying one last thing. 

“And yet you were so ready to leave him to die at the hands of the resistance.”

With that he swept out of the room, the general would have to chase after him if he wanted to get in another word. Although he could feel his anger like a living thing behind him, and he felt pleased with himself as he left. 

Kylo returned to his shuttle and saw that Dopheld was no longer there. He had to check a computer to find out where the lieutenant’s quarters were, and then he headed for there. It didn’t feel right to be apart yet, he felt like Dopheld needed him around. Kylo wanted to be around too. 

When he arrived he buzzed and then waited. There was no answer and when he reached out through the force he could feel the fear behind the door. 

Kylo used his command overrides and the fear spiked. 

“It’s me, it’s Kylo.” 

He knew that Dopheld hated the mask, so he reached up and pressed the release. He could see that Dopheld was in the corner, hunched over his desk. 

“I thought you were a psytech.”

Dopheld blurted out. 

“It’s just me,”

Kylo reassured again, holding the helmet under his arm as he crossed the room. 

He took it in as he walked. There weren’t a whole lot of personal items, but there was enough to know who lived there. Photos hung up of him and what Kylo assumed was his family. From what he could see they looked so similar. There was a little short plant that sat on his desk. It looked extremely well cared for and even had its own little light over it. The last personal item was a small statue that sat beside the plant. 

Kylo set his helmet down on the desk and slipped his arms around the lieutenant’s shoulders. He felt Dopheld’s hands come up and hold onto his arm. They stayed like that for a moment; it felt like he could breathe a little easier with Dopheld beside him. 

Kylo pressed a kiss to the top of his head, taking in the scent of the regulation shampoo. 

“I see that we’ll be working together.”

Kylo smiled into his hair, if there was one good thing he could say about Hux it was that he was efficient. 

“I would like you to stay in my quarters while we work, so that you are close if I need you.”

Kylo hadn’t thought of that before he felt the fear, but now it felt right. He wasn’t sure when Dopheld started to mean so much to him, but feeling the relief coming from him made it worth it. 

“Good, yes.”

He felt him turn in his arms and the lieutenant looked up at him, there was a brief pause before Kylo kissed him.


	11. Chapter 11

Kylo had helped him pack up his items, there wasn’t a whole lot, but it all fit into one pack. It was nice to always be with the knight, no one would dare do anything with him around. He actually felt safe with Kylo by his side.

His quarters were large, so it was no problem for both of them to stay there.

Kylo let him set up his succulent and light on a shelf he had next to the bed, and he put the small sculpture his mother had made him beside it. His clothing fit next to Kylo’s and it felt so intimate to see their clothing next to each other.

At night they shared a bed, but it was the same as on the command ship. Kylo would hold him and yet never push for more.

In the day Dopheld started to do what Kylo needed. It wasn’t the hardest job that Kylo wanted help with, it was searching through the holonet for any mentions of someone that might be a force user. It could be someone creating miracles, or even a place that seemed to be resisting the Order a little too well.

Once he felt sure there was a force user there he would let Kylo know and he would send one of his knights to that location.

Dopheld was glad to start working again, and slowly he let Kylo convince him into joining him for training. Today was the first, although there was no way he could keep up with the knight, but he liked working up a sweat and feeling human again.

They walked together back to the room, and Kylo let him shower first.

When he was clean he looked at himself in the mirror, there was still the tech showing on his jaw, but he had adjusted to it. Sometimes he still noticed it when he ate or spoke, but mostly it was only a surprise when he saw himself.

His face had started to fill out, and although he had lost a bit of muscle he was beginning to look more like his old self. It was an odd thought, as if his time with the resistance had been erased.

It hadn’t though, it had left a mark. One that he was trying to forget, it had taken time to start feeling as confident as he did. The fear that normally hung on him was a little further away when Kylo was near. It was why he felt he was ready to return to how it had been. Dopheld also felt that if he wasn’t ready as he thought, he could trust Kylo to understand.

Instead of dressing in his clothing again he put is clothing into the laundry shoot and peeked out into the other room. Kylo was at the desk, communicating with one of the knights, making sure that there was no complication on the last group it was sent after.

Kylo was still in what he wore to train, ribbed leggings and a black muscle shirt. He had worn his robe, and helmet only for the walk. It left his bare arms showing, and Dopheld smiled as he remembered the feeling of them under his hands. It was the first day he really felt himself.

He snuck into the room, slipping into the bed and sitting down. Kylo looked over at him and he saw the surprise at his bare chest.

Heat came over his face, Kylo was never able to hide how he was feeling. He said a few words and disconnected from the conversation.

“When you finish in the refresher, why don’t you come to bed?”

He hoped the invitation was in his voice, and by the look on Kylo’s face he understood it. Dopheld could see the concern on his face, mixed with need.

“I’ll go now.”

Once he was in the refresher Dopheld opened the nightstand beside the bed. He knew there was lubricant in there; he had seen Kylo take it to the refresher after their kisses turned heavy. This time he looked at it, recognising it as the same they got together when they crashed.

The memories were always something he enjoyed, it was the first real break he had had since he had been at the academy.

Now he thought of that time while he squeezed it over his fingers, spreading it over his fingers and allowing it to warm. Dopheld thought of how Kylo had looked the first time they were together.

Those were the thoughts that he held onto as he slipped his fingers between his legs and pressed one inside.

He thought of how his name sounded on Kylo’s lips, his strange accent changing the way it rolled off his tongue. Dopheld closed his eyes and allowed himself to make little pants of pleasure as he used his fingers on himself.

His other hand came up and he softly stroked himself, pausing to add another finger. Dopheld had time, after all Kylo had to finish, so he was slow as he fucked himself. His thoughts filled with how it felt to take Kylo that first time, and how dark his brown eyes had looked as Dopheld had rode him.

When he added a third finger he pulled up the memories of Kylo’s moan. It was easy becoming a little harder to relax into, but he knew soon enough it would be Kylo inside him.

He had liked Kylo before, but now his feelings were much deeper, he wanted to be able to let Kylo feel that. Dopheld wanted to kiss him as they moved together and let him share in his feelings.

Dopheld started to open his fingers trying to let his body adjust to the feeling, Kylo was bigger yet, and he wanted to take him all again. It was as close as they could get without dipping into each other’s minds again.

The sound of the refresher door shutting made his eyes fly open and he could see Kylo watching him. His eyes were wide and his hands were hiding most of his crotch, but Dopheld could see he was already half hard.

Dopheld flushed, his chest and face colouring as he kept moving his fingers inside his hole. He let Kylo see what he was doing, that he had been preparing himself. The embarrassment was easier to handle while Kylo was looking at him with need plain on his face.

“Come here.”

The words came out as a request, but Dopheld didn’t have to ask twice. The knight crossed the room quickly and came to the side of the bed. One of his hands came up to touch Dopheld’s cheek and he could see the concern on his face against.

Dopheld was aroused enough that he didn’t try and hide what he was doing ad he let his eye flick down in invitation. Kylo took it, picking up the discarded lubricant from Dopheld’s side and coated himself. He could see Kylo tense at the cool lubricant, not yet warmed up.

Kylo obviously didn’t care enough to wait though, he wanted to take the place of Dopheld’s fingers, and was touching himself until he was fully hard. Dopheld could only imagine how he looked, three fingers deep inside him and his skin flushed pink.

He slid his fingers out and wiped them on the blanket, opening his legs to let Kylo between them.

Kylo took his place and Dopheld felt a little bit of pressure on his head. He tried to open his mind to Kylo, let him see that he wanted this.

It seemed to be enough reassurance, and he felt his thick cock pressing between his cheeks. Dopheld wrapped his legs around him and tried to give him the best angle. He knew he looked shameless, and Kylo took it as the invitation that it was.

He felt the head push inside him and it was enough that he gasped out at the feeling.

It had been a while since they had been together like this, but even with the way it ached as his body stretched open, he pushed back into it.

Their eyes met, and he could feel the warmth from Kylo. His expression was soft, unlike anything he had really seen on the knight before. Although his skin was hot from lying under him nude he felt slightly embarrassed over the intensity.

Kylo was careful filled him slowly, a few times dragging his cock out before pushing back inside a little deeper. A hand moved to his hips and Kylo guided him as they started to move together. They had been together enough that they knew what they needed to feel good. Kylo was already starting to make small breathy moans, Dopheld wasn’t even sure he noticed he was making the noise.

Kylo always seemed to lose himself in the feeling of their bodies moving together. He moved over Dopheld more, forcing him to bend in half as one of his legs was taken from Kylo’s waist and moved over his shoulder.

It opened him up more to the knight, but it also allowed Kylo to take his hand, crossing their fingers as he pressed it against the bed and started the lazy thrusts again.

Dopheld honestly loved it, the size of him, the way his body struggled to make room for him. He was glad that he would feel it later as a reminder of this. A reminder that he was Kylo’s.

It took a few slow thrusts before Kylo was fully sheathed inside him, holding himself inside for a few breaths as he allowed Dopheld to get used to it. He felt a gentle squeeze of his hand and he returned it.

Dopheld was the one who started moving again, rocking as much as he could. Kylo took the hint and started speed up, but he kept to a relaxed pace, driving him crazy as it filled him up and dragged over his prostate a little slower than he wanted.

He gasped out Kylo’s name, lost in the feeling of being with him again.

He knew there was no rush but he reached his free hand up and pulled at Kylo’s hair, trying to encourage him.

Kylo shifted just enough that Dopheld felt bent in half, but with the curve of his back Kylo was able to kiss him before he began to give him want he wanted.

The kiss was so light that it left his lips tingling with the want of more.

As Kylo started to fuck him harder, he noticed the knight looking down and watching where they were joined. He was looking at his sore hole and how it clung to his cock even with the generous amounts of lubricant.

“I want to see in your mind.”

Dopheld gasped out, as it was he felt overwhelmed by the feeling, but he wanted more.

There was the pressure again and it all spilled into his mind, the pleasure and the hunger for touch. What was the most noticeable though was the warmth; Kylo truly cared for him, and at the same time wanted to possess him. It was easy to get lost in the feeling, and he hoped Kylo could feel his own as well.

At the very least he knew that Kylo has said his emotions were loud, so he would be able to feel the edges of it.

Dopheld realised how deep the emotions were, as if they had snuck up on the two of them, but he couldn’t seem to care at the moment. He only enjoyed knowing that he really was safe with Kylo.

When he felt his orgasm it was almost a surprise, caught up in whatever Kylo was doing, only the release of tension bringing him back to the moment. It wasn’t long before Kylo followed him and Dopheld felt more than the wet release inside his body. He also felt the second orgasm through his own, and a moment of calm.

Kylo pulled out and moved behind him, rolling Dopheld on his side so he could push inside him before he got too soft.

“I just want to stay with you a little longer.”

He mumbled against his nape as he entered him. Dopheld pushed back in response, starting to notice the ache as the feelings started to settle. It felt good to be stretched open and he felt like they belonged together in that moment.

Kylo put a hand on his hip and Dopheld covered it with his own, holding it.

Kylo hadn’t broken the link yet, and as his mind started to wander Dopheld saw his doubt in the supreme leader. It was the same doubt that had echoed when he had seen his father again.

He was scared that his time was almost up, he had nowhere else to go, and he wanted to hang onto life a little longer. Dopheld was beginning to feel like he was eavesdropping.

“We could find somewhere else.”

He said, knowing that is was a foolish thing to say.

“We already have somewhere special.”

Kylo replied, the connection severing. As if to reassure him, Dopheld felt Kylo’s plump lips pressing kisses over his nape.

 

[ ](http://hydrajen.tumblr.com/post/153707634412/quickie-for-redcole)


	12. Chapter 12

Kylo watched Dopheld stir in his sleep. His dark hair was fanned out over the pillow, having grown longer in his time in captivity. It was past regulation, but Kylo loved it. It had just the hint of curl to it and he brushed it away from Dopheld’s face. 

Dopheld’s lips were soft in his sleep and Kylo wanted to kiss them again. He’d never had anyone who was his alone; he could see why Snoke had discouraged attachment. It felt like Mitaka had become an important part of his life. He cared about him more than his own duty, and even though he knew he should feel bad about it he didn’t. If he had to Kylo would do it all again.

Unable to resist he bent over and pressed a kiss against Dopheld’s jaw. Right beside his implant. 

When Kylo pulled back he watched as Mitaka started to stir. He gave a sleepy smile before opening his eyes. A week ago Dopheld would have woken with panic, but now most days he woke calmly as long as long as Kylo was gentle. Today was one of those days. 

“Morning already?”

“It’s still early. Alpha shift hasn’t started yet.”

Dopheld let out a sleepy hum and pulled the blankets around himself to further cocoon himself further in them. He closed his eyes and looked ready to slip into sleep again. 

Kylo started to cover his face with kisses until he heard a huff of laughter. 

The last few days had been amazing, even though he could feel that Dopheld was tired and wary, it was a return to their time on the planet. They did more than just share a bed, and where he was used to having to hide his powers, he didn’t have to with Dopheld.

Often during or after sex Dopheld would want to share his thoughts, and it was so easy to do it wordlessly. It felt good to slip into his mind or let Dopheld into his own. It didn’t bother him to feel the ghost of Dopheld in his mind after they finished.

He could feel that Dopheld had doubts about the Order, but he never felt any doubt in his emotions towards him. Kylo tried to ignore that he knew how it would end, that he had known ever since he had spoken with his father. 

He couldn’t go back to the people who used to be his family and when Snoke decided that he was no longer useful it would be over. Their time was limited, because Kylo’s time was limited.

It only encouraged him to try harder, to enjoy each moment they had together. 

Dopheld looked a little more awake as he looked up at him this time. 

“Why are you up? Are we starting early today?”

Dopheld had been willing to work at any hour, whenever Kylo requested. He was surprisingly adept at sifting through information. It had always been Kylo’s least favourite part of the job, and he would normally rather hunt them down planet by planet. It was only because he hadn’t wanted to be parted that he had stayed back.

“I have to update Snoke on our progress; I just wanted to see your smile before I left.”

His flattery had the desired effect and Dopheld’s face shyly lit up, a smile pulling at his cheeks and a slight flush on his skin. 

“Or you just wanted me to suffer with you; having to get up in the middle of the night.”

Dopheld teased softly in response.

“How did you know?”

A tired laugh warmed him and he leaned down to kiss Dopheld again. The soft feel of his lips were so addictive, he wish he had time to touch every inch of Dopheld like he had the night before. Even tired he looked so alluring as he lay so calm under Kylo. 

Dopheld raised one dark eyebrow, an invitation. 

“When I return from the holochamber.”

As much as he wanted to give in, Kylo knew he couldn’t keep the Supreme Leader waiting. 

With the amount of force users they had found over the few weeks while he was sure it that Snoke would be pleased enough to allow him some leniency, but no good would come of pushing his luck.

Kylo pressed his lips to Dopheld’s one last time before getting off the bed. As he put on the rest of his layers he noticed Dopheld looking at the time and was getting up himself.

“I can wake you when I return.”

He offered, Dopheld didn’t sleep as much as he should; the last thing he would want is for the Lieutenant to stay up waiting for him.

“It’s alright; Thanisson has been sending messages asking to see me since I returned. Alpha shift should be starting breakfast any time now.” 

Kylo understood what he inferred and nodded. 

He waited along a little longer, watching Mitaka dress. He pulled on a thin muscle shirt, and dug out his trousers. The jodhpurs fit snuggly around his waist and showed the round curve of his ass. The jacket would soon cover that and Kylo interrupted him, slipping his arms around his waist and cupping his ass in one of his hands.

“You’ll wrinkle them.”

The protest was weak and he felt Mitaka push back into his hand. 

“I’ll be careful.” 

Kylo dipped and kissed him just under his jaw, nipping at the skin and sucking it between his teeth to mark it. With that Kylo finally let him go; it would show above his collar.

They shared one last warm look before Kylo forced himself to go. 

/

Kylo stood in front of the viewport, unmoving. His mind still felt like static, and it spread out, down until his finger prickled. He didn’t know how long it had been, maybe hours; the stars looks slightly different, but it could have been the movements of the Finalizer.

The control panel behind him had stopped popping and fizzing from the damage it had taken, having burnt itself out. It would mean another long winded conversation with Hux, but it didn’t really matter. 

It seemed so obvious now; he should have had a plan for this time.

Dopheld brought out feelings in him that overpowered more important thoughts, Dopheld made him falter in his path. Kylo could see it; it shouldn’t have been a surprise that Snoke had seen it in him as well. 

It was the same orders as before. Remove the obstacle in the way. 

Remove that last thing in his life he had attached to.

When Kylo heard the words he knew he had to. 

If he didn’t kill Dopheld, the Supreme Leader would make sure they both died, but the thought of his father’s death still haunted him, he couldn’t lose Dopheld too. Even though Snoke had made him relive his father’s death until it didn’t make chest ache, it hadn’t stopped the regret or the doubt.

Kylo played through every moment they had had together so far, remembering each touch and word they shared.

He was numb as he returned to his room and he hoped that the lieutenant wasn’t there. 

Instead he saw the dark hair on his pillow and the blankets around him again. It was just like this morning. 

Out of reflex he touched his saber, his fingers stroking over the hilt. 

Crossing the room felt like it took forever, and maybe part of it was that he didn’t want to stand in front of him. 

Kylo sat at the edge of the bed and looked at him. He had little bruises that Kylo had put on him, and the implant that reminded him of all Dopheld had done to keep him safe. 

He leaned over and slipped his arms around Dopheld, dragging him into his lap and waking him again. Dopheld only opened his eyes to see it was him before settling in. He rested his head against his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist. 

Kylo wasn’t sure he would watch the life fade in his face as Dopheld looked up at him with all the trust in the world. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be in a galaxy where he was the one to take Dopheld out of it.


	13. Chapter 13

Dopheld returned from breakfast feeling a little more like he fit back on the ship, Thanisson had been a good friend to him, although the two months had changed things. Now Dopheld felt as if they were more strangers than friends, their lives no longer were so similar. Even with that it still was good to laugh over ridiculous things. To be questioned in a light manner about what had happened instead of the deeply seriously conversations he had had with Kylo. 

He wasn’t really comfortable telling the full truth, so he downplayed what had happened. The one thing he wasn’t good at hiding was that he no longer held fear from Kylo. The hickies on his neck weren’t as well hidden as he had thought and his red face gave him away before he could even respond to Thanisson’s scandalised looks. 

Dopheld had just been glad when he could return to Kylo’s quarters. When he saw that Kylo had yet to finish his meeting with the Supreme Leader he found himself nodding off. After fighting it for a few minutes Dopheld gave into the feeling and had stripped down and slept. 

He didn’t mind waking up to the feeling of Kylo’s arms around him, pulling him into his lap. When Dopheld opened his eyes and saw the disconnected look on Kylo’s face he guessed that the knight needed it. 

After Dopheld slipped his arms around Kylo in return he let himself doze against his chest, trying to give him comfort. It wasn’t until he felt something wet on his cheek that he forced his eyes open again and looked at him. 

Kylo was wearing an expression of was a dulled hopelessness, and although his face was stone still his eyes were wet.

It shocked Dopheld to see and he shifted in his lap so he could further sit up. 

“Kylo, what happened?”

Only then did Kylo bring up a hand and wipe his eyes. 

“I don’t know what to do, I’m lost.”

“What do you mean?”

Kylo paused, his expressive face was starting to crack and show just how upset he was.

“The Supreme leader wishes me to do something that I don’t think I can.”

“Can I help you?”

He let out a rough laugh; there was an edge of something dangerous to it. It reminded him of the way that Kylo got too calm before his outbursts. 

“Would you do anything for me?”

The question felt like it held a weight that he couldn’t understand, the words strangely familiar. It made him pick his words carefully. 

“Within reason.”

Kylo didn’t respond, but his muscles started to unwind and Dopheld felt like the moment of danger had passed. He watched the knight wipe his eyes again and he ran his hands over Dopheld’s bare chest. Dopheld moved his arms from around his neck and caught the hands in his own. He gently rubbed his thumb over the back of Kylo’s hand. He tried to show him the affection that was building between them.

“I’ve given up everything to be here, and it’s gotten me nothing.”

Dopheld used to always watch his words around Kylo, never correcting him, but their relationship made him brave. So he responded to Kylo’s self-indulgences.

“You’ve gained the use of the First Order troops, the use of me.”

His cheeks warmed up as he realised how it sounded, but he was sure after these last few weeks Kylo would understand his meaning. He had helped a lot in tracking down force users.

It got him the lopsided pull of lips and a huff of air, the first reaction out of Kylo that helped Dopheld start to relax as well.

“It’s only cost me my choice and freedom.” 

“You always have a choice.”

Dopheld wished Kylo would just come out and say what he was thinking. Kylo moved their hands together, stealing more touch. He felt warmth in it; the way Kylo acted reminded Dopheld of the sun of their first few days together.

Despite the conversation he sat up just enough to press a kiss against Kylo’s jaw. Kylo tilted his head down and the next one met his lips. It was only a soft brush of lips.

When he pulled back Kylo gave him an odd sad smile. 

“I think this is what love must feel like.”

There was a finality to the words. 

“What is this about?”

Kylo swallowed.

“I thought I could keep you safe, but I can’t even manage that,”

He paused for a moment before spoke again. 

“Snoke ordered me to kill you, to get rid of the last of my attachments.”

Dopheld tensed but he didn’t move, there was no where he could go in the room that he would be safe if he was in danger. The words echoed in him, rattling around in his brain as he realised what the order meant. Fear felt like it was closing his throat as he realised he would never be safe in the First Order. 

“And if you don’t?”

There was a pause and Dopheld felt clammy sweat on his body. Kylo was taking too long to reply.

“There is no need to discuss that. I won’t do it, he promised me power the last time and I gained nothing but instability in my abilities.”

Even if Kylo didn’t there would be others that didn’t feel the same way. 

Dopheld knew a few places where he could use his credits and get them switched over to one that is more universal, but he had no ship or way to leave.

“Am I supposed to run, so I can spend my last few days running?”

The silence was choking him, and he tried to pull back out of Kylo’s arms. Kylo didn’t allow it and he took a few deep breaths to try and calm him.

“I’m not letting you go alone.”

The words weren’t that reassuring, it would only make his trail easier to follow, and they would spend a lot more time looking for Kylo than they would a lieutenant, even if Dopheld had a lot of information.

When Dopheld didn’t speak Kylo continued.

“I watched the holo you brought back. Maybe we can use it to our benefit.”

Finally Kylo allowed him to move away and Dopheld crawled across the bed until he was pressed against the wall. The cold steel felt good against his sweaty skin even though it gave him a slight chill. It felt real and stable and Dopheld needed that. 

“I’m not going back to the resistant.”

Dopheld sounded more firm than he felt.


	14. Chapter 14

Kylo didn’t want to go to the resistance, but when he had combed through Dopheld’s memories he had seen how much General Organa still wanted their connection. He could use that.

It didn’t fool him into thinking they would have a place there, he would never be welcome with those people, he would always feel the weight of everything he had done. They would never forgive him, and he would never really forgive them, that and the lack of guilt he felt over a lot of his past actions would make sure that he never fit in. Kylo didn’t want to go to them for forgiveness thought, he was sure they could convince General Organa to help with their escape, even if he just passed through. 

She was one of the last people he wanted to see, but he knew they didn’t have options. He would have to put aside his anger and abandonment for this. 

They would have to pay for the help most likely with information, but he could make sure he only gave away enough to harm those who would be most likely to harm them. He still believed in the Order, and that a body count would be needed to turn everyone towards the right path, he just didn’t believe that Dopheld needed to be one of those bodies. 

Snoke showed wastefulness that even General Hux didn’t approve of, when he had taken out the whole Hosnian system instead of just the planets needed. Lives and resources gone to waste that could have been to their benefit, and it was the same with how the Supreme Leader treated him. His training was more about burning through his powers than learning to fully control them; they still sometimes failed on him. 

As much as he disliked the man he believed that General Hux would do a better job than Snoke ever had. 

First though he wanted to help Dopheld calm down enough that they could start to plan. They only had one day before he had to report back, that was the only head start they had. 

“We won’t go to the resistance to stay, only for what we need before we continue on our way. Besides we would never truly be safe with them.”

The proof was on Dopheld’s jaw. 

“You’re willing to give this all up?”

Dopheld sounded like he didn’t trust it yet, and Kylo could feel his fear. Dopheld had lived with the knowledge he was going to die every day he was with the resistance, it had taken a heavy toll on him and the last thing Kylo wanted was to bring him back to that time. 

“Yes. I’ve known Snoke’s plans for me since before we lost Starkiller base, your death will only buy me a short amount of time. I just didn’t have anywhere else so I never tried to leave. Here at least I had the Knights of Ren and recently you, but we can find somewhere else together; we can make our own place.” 

It was an echo of when Dopheld had asked him to leave weeks ago. If they left Kylo would still have one thing of his own, he would have Dopheld, and he could hold onto that.

He tried to move towards Dopheld and the young lieutenant allowed him. Again he pulled him into his arms and Kylo brushed his mind to reassure him. 

Only when Dopheld had started to relax under his touch again did Kylo continue. 

“We don’t have a lot of time; we will need to collect what we will need.”

Kylo paused to press a kiss to his cheek. He was already trying to put it all together, what they would need. 

“I want you to pack up everything you will need, I want you to also bring two blocks of rations to the ship and as many water filtration jugs as you can manage without arousing suspicion. I also need you to bring multiple med kits. You can bring simple hand blasters, but any weapon bigger than that will have First Order tracking tech. Take all of that and put it in my command shuttle. I will make sure we have approval to leave alright?”

Dopheld knew most of the information, but in the state he was in now Kylo wanted to make sure that he understood. Kylo started a trail of kisses from his cheek until Dopheld turned enough to allow their lips to meet. If it didn’t go well he wanted it to end with the memory of Dopheld on his lips. 

As they broke apart Dopheld gave a nod, his body a little tense from fear.

“I can do that.”

His voice shook just a little bit, and Kylo wished they had more time, so he could reassure Dopheld longer, but every moment was important. It was time they could be hiding their trail. 

“I’ll meet you there, but make sure you take your time, you have to act as if you are preforming your duty as usual. If anyone asks on what orders you can tell them they are on mine. If you finish before I have returned to the ship just stay inside the command shuttle and wait for me.”

He knew no one would risk asking past that. 

Reluctantly he let go, and stood pulling all the anger he could manage together. Once he felt like he could do what was needed he took another look at Dopheld’s bare body before settling his helmet in place and locking it. 

He stormed through the halls until he came to the bridge, it was a long walk, but it gave him time to make sure he knew what he would say. He prepared the words and repeated them a few times to make sure there would be no mistakes. 

Through his visor he finally saw General Hux and he clenched his hands before striding to his side. 

“General I am sure you have heard Snoke’s orders.” 

Hux managed a sneer.

“I am not sure that it is wise, but I have been informed. It would be a lot better if I was also informed as to why.”

“I have not been informed myself, but I agree, it could cause discord among the ranks if a lieutenant could be executed after he has just received a medal for bravery during capture. That is why I will take him under the pretense of a mission; I will take care of the execution and return in a few days. No one will question it if he is lost in battle. We can hold a service for a death in battle at that point. I believe that should satisfy you.”

Kylo felt like that was the most he had said to Hux in one conversation, and he could see that the General looked like he grudgingly approved. Neither of them were allowed to question Snoke, so Hux would have to accept it.

“That is a solution that I believed beyond you. I will make sure that the mission is entered into the database. Thank the Lieutenant for his service; the Finalizer will be lesser for this.” 

If he agreed too easily Hux might see through him, so he let the silence stretch out between them.

“I will inform him of your gratitude, but not because you ordered me.”

He heard a derisive sound from the general as he stalked off. 

Sweat trickled down his back as he made his way to the medbay, they would be able to take the broken medbot from his last trip off the ship without questions. They might be able to pull it off.

It took a few hours to collect what he needed as well, clothing that he could pass off as civilian, the few items he wanted with him. He also brought the chip from his mother that he had hidden in his own clothing once he had found out about it as he skimmed Dopheld’s mind. He would need it to contact Organa. Most of his things would be left behind; he didn’t want to make it too obvious he had no intent in returning until it was too late. Only once he had everything he needed did he bring it to the ship. 

He would have to strip the ship later so that they couldn’t be tracked but that would have to wait until they left. If they did it too soon it would only make the Order look into just what he was doing. They needed this to look normal. 

The blast doors opened and Kylo walked up the ramp glad to see Dopheld already at the helm. He was wearing the regulation trousers, but his jacket was off and so his shirt was one of the soft grey ones. Kylo loved the look of his bare arms, he had a few moles of his own, but none so dark as Kylo’s. When they were safe he would take the time to press his lips to every one of those marks. 

As soon as he was inside the doors closed again and he set his pack and the broken medbot down on the floor. 

He could see Dopheld had brought more than he had requested, at least four ration blocks that he could see and a half a dozen medkits. It brought a real smile to his face, it was so like Dopheld to over prepare. 

Kylo touched the release on his helmet, but even as the lock released he stayed with it on a little longer. It felt odd, knowing this would be the last time he wore it.


	15. Chapter 15

Dopheld watched Kylo’s hands work with whatever he was making, he claimed it was a communication device, but it looked like none that Dopheld had ever seen. Kylo had already changed and was in some odd brown tunic and black trousers. The cloth was thinner and Dopheld felt like it was very flattering compared to the robes he used to wear. He looked just like anyone else and Dopheld could see how he would blend into a crowd now. 

Dopheld only really had his off duty clothing. Even those looked like it was First Order regulation.

It was more than that though, the stiffness of military posture was set into Dopheld’s back and he tried to mimic the way Kylo held himself as they flew. The slope of his shoulders and the expressive movements he made.

They would still be able to use First Order credits and Dopheld felt neither of them had an overabundance of other currencies. He knew Kylo had a collection hid in the floor of the command shuttle, but he had no real idea about the amount. So they had made plans to stop and use their funds to get anything else they may need.

For all he knew this might be the last chance he would have to spend his wages. 

The planet that came into view was not one he had seen before, but as he’d only been on two, the one that they crashed on and on during his time with the resistance, it was not much of a stretch. 

The air was dry, but there were still patches of green around the town, he wished they had time to spend, walking together and feeling the uneven ground under their feet. Dopheld craved the time they had spent together on the planet, and the bath they had shared.

“I’ll need to buy a few parts to finish this,”

Kylo paused waving at the device he was working on.

“Buy some clothing and whatever else you may need. Other than that I want you to empty your account on items we can resell later. I’ll get any star charts we may need.”

He continued.

They had both been fairly quiet on the ride under the weight of their choices. He was glad that Kylo was telling him what to do; it wasn’t that he couldn’t figure it out himself; it was that it felt natural to obey orders in a crisis. 

“Yes sir.”

He said comfortably.

Kylo came to him after Dopheld landed the ship, taking his hands and helping him out of his seat. Dopheld let himself be tugged into an embrace and he took a deep breath, drawing in Kylo’s scent. There seemed to be desperation in the touch, as if it was just in case they never got to hold each other again. 

“We’ll be fine, it’s just going to be a few rough days, but we’ve survived rough days before.”

Dopheld found himself saying, trying to reassure both himself and Kylo. He still had doubts on how far they would be able to get. 

“That’s right.”

Kylo let him go and they made their way out into the small city. 

Since the trackers were still in the ship the First Order would be able to search the city for information on them, so Dopheld kept that in mind as he found things to waste his credits on. It was odd watching his life saving slowly drain, and he had to make a few trips back to the ship, he could see just how much Kylo was filling it as well. The entire area meant to hold troopers was slowly filling up. 

When his account was starting to get low he found clothing. He was so used to the dull colours of the First Order uniforms he couldn’t help but look at the deep royal blues and deep sea greens. Dopheld even picked out a few bright patterns, more for the thought of how it would be to wear it than from the want of bright clothing.

He couldn’t resist getting blankets and pillows as well; he’d never been able to spoil himself with softness other than the time he spent in Kylo’s quarters.

His last purchases were a few sets of boots and shoes that weren’t First Order regulation. 

In the end he drained the last of his account and had enough that he doubted he would need to shop for over a year. It felt surreal as he returned to the ship, dropping his now spent chip onto the ground before entering. 

As he changed out of his uniform he realised this was probably one of the last times he would wear it. It made him take his time, slipping it off and memorising just how it felt to be in uniform. In a way it felt like he was dying, leaving behind everything he had worked all his life for. 

Anxiety started to choke him, and he took a few more deep breaths reminding himself that it wasn’t death; it was a second chance at life that Kylo was giving him. It was not a loss of everything he knew, it was gaining the promise of everything that had happened between them. Although he kept repeating it to himself, it took a while before he felt like he could take a deep breath and his heat started to slow down. 

When he was feeling a little better he pulled on a pair of black trousers and a deep blue and silver shirt. The dark colours seemed easier, closer to what he was used to. The bright colours he had been so enthralled with would have to wait. 

He was still straightening it out when he heard the blast doors and he slipped out of the commanders room to see Kylo bringing in a load of tech. 

They shared a small smile before Kylo shut the doors and returned to the communication device. He could see from the way that Kylo kept looking at him he wanted privacy and in the end he returned to the room. 

He had to trust Kylo with his life, even if he wanted to listen in he forced himself to stay in the other room.

The small officers’ quarters would probably become home again until they found something better. Dopheld sat down on the bed and ran his hands over the blankets. His last memories of them were when he was returning to the finalizer with Kylo. Kylo had held him so gently at that time, afraid he would break.

There were still days when Dopheld felt like the person who had just returned from the resistance, but they were becoming less often. When he woke in the night Kylo would help brush the memories away. He was still lost in those thoughts when the door opened. 

Kylo stayed in the doorway, searching his face. 

“We have to meet with the resistance, if you would rather stay inside I would understand, but I would appreciate it if you could cover me.”

“I thought we weren’t-”

Kylo cut him off.

“It’s only to exchange information for a clean slate, and maybe a way out. That is why I would prefer you covered me.”

Dopheld realised that it was Kylo asking instead of ordering, it was a reminder of the change in their relationship. They weren’t in the Order anymore, now they were equals. 

“Of course Kylo, you only have to ask.”


	16. Chapter 16

Kylo hadn’t really wanted to meet with the Resistance again; he had always hoped that when he collected Dopheld that would be the last time he saw his mother. Except when he had seen the chip in Dopheld’s memories he couldn’t resist. 

The message on it was a plea for him, asking him to leave the Order, telling him that it would be okay to ask for help. 

There was nothing that Kylo looked up against more than seeing his mother again. There was too much between them now. Things that they would never be able to get past.

He still worked on the transmitter through, because he knew that while it wasn’t something he looked forward to, the resistance could help them. Kylo had information that no one else did. He knew where Snoke was located, and they needed the chance to get away from him. 

They had only a small window of time before people would realise that Kylo was gone so he knew he couldn’t avoid it.

The only thing that drove him now was getting away. He wasn’t going to give up Dopheld now that he had him. 

When the transmitter was working he sent a text only message, a place to meet, what he had for sale and the demand that she come alone again. The reply was quick and he could feel a bit of the tension leaving from his shoulders. They could do this; he could save Dopheld one more time. 

Thought of the other man drew him to stand and move to his side. He was piloting the ship, a fairly normal course while they kept the trackers in. 

“Here Doph.”

He leaned over his shoulder and entered in the new coordinates, Dopheld would still have to plot the course, but it gave them a direction. Kylo didn’t have to lean over him; he wanted to be close to him. In case their time was limited he wanted to make sure that he didn’t regret any of it. 

Pressing a kiss to Dopheld’s temple he paused there, taking a deep breath and smelling how his hair was washed in the same soap as all the first order. He would love to smell Dopheld in the coming days, with the soaps and lotions he had bought for them. He hadn‘t forget how Dopheld had gotten a small burn on his face when they had crash landed. If they were going to live on a planet together Kylo would have to care for his skin. 

“I’m going to remove the trackers, when we meet with the Resistance we will leave the trackers behind.”

He told Dopheld, because he wanted to stay there a little longer. 

“We should be there early, if you see anything that looks strange get us out of there.”

Dopheld tilted his head up and smiled warmly. Kylo was sure he was feeling the same way, that there might not be a lot of time left together, so there was a desperation to enjoy it.

“I will.”

Kylo cupped Dopheld’s chin in his hand, leaning down to kiss him. It felt so familiar now; it brought up feeling of how well they fit together. Dopheld always responded with so much heat, and Kylo mourned it ending, but he knew he had to finish before they arrived, so with a few pecks he pulled away. 

After he told himself, after he would have the time to properly show Dopheld how much he had come to mean to him. 

With that he left to scan the ship. It took a lot longer than he expected, but he had always had a way with anything mechanical. It almost felt as if it responded to him. 

Even when he finished, Kylo checked over again and again, not wanting to leave anything behind. It had to be a clean cut, but he wasn’t willing to give up his ship just yet. He had put adaptions into it himself. It was faster than a regular command shuttle. It hadn’t been needed, but when his head felt full of the pull from the force he had worked on the ship to calm him. 

It felt like his home more than any other place he had ever lived. 

When Dopheld’s voice called out to him, Kylo collected up the trackers and came to stand by him. 

“We’re here. It looks clear.”

Kylo rubbed Dopheld’s shoulder before he sat himself in the gunner’s seat, watching as Dopheld took them down. 

He watched the swampy forest come into view and he wondered what type of planet Dopheld would like. When they finished running if he would want something similar to where they had crashed. The thought made him feel warm with fondness, smiling to himself he found himself asking.

“What type of planet would you like to end up on?”

Dopheld shrugged.

“Honestly I don’t know; you’ve been with me the only two times I’ve touched ground. I would like something green like the first and maybe not as hot, but I’ll leave that to you.”

Kylo knew that he hadn’t fully earned the trust that Dopheld gave him, but he was glad to have it none the less. He would make sure to find somewhere that really suited Dopheld. 

The ship settled on the ground and he stood, waiting for Dopheld so that they walked to the blast doors together. 

Kylo grabbed a padd and typed in the information the Resistance would need to get in close enough to destroy Snoke’s base. Snoke’s arrogance would be his undoing; he would trust that Kylo had done as he ordered, because at the time he had thought that was his only option. 

Dopheld started to arm himself strapping on a blaster and holding one as well. Kylo could see he was uncomfortable and he didn’t blame him. The last time he had been with them he had almost died. 

“It will be different this time.”

At least he hoped. 

Once outside they waited. Kylo used the time to get to know the area, leaving the tracking devices buried in the ground, and also to make sure the area really was clear. It helped to calm his own nerves to keep busy. If there was one more person than his mother he would make sure they did not make it off the planet alive. His hand ghosted over the lightsaber that hung at his side. 

Tension was starting to give him a headache by the time he could hear the ship. 

He wanted to get through it as quickly as possible. 

He returned to his shuttle and he watched the ship land. He remembered the smooth landing that his mother used to be able to pull off and how much he had hated landing because it always meant that she was leaving. 

Kylo was no longer that boy and she was no longer his mother, at least not in that sense.

“If anything seems off take the ship and leave me, I will find my way back to you.”

Dopheld only looked more uncomfortable by his words, but Kylo wanted to make sure that at least one of them got away if something went wrong. 

He gave him one last quick kiss before he crossed the ground to stand in front of the ship, his hand touching his lightsaber as he waited. 

It felt like forever before the doors opened and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. 

She looked tired without his mask distorting her face. Kylo hated that he still reacted like this, and that he could see the disappointment in him without her even saying a work. 

They stood in silence for a minute, until he finally stopped trying to find the right words. 

“I have the information. You will have to make use of it immediately.”

Leia walked up and took the padd and he wondered how she could have always been so small. When he was younger she always seemed to take up the whole room. It was always equally noticeable when she was gone.

There was hope in her face, but it was wilted, as if she expected disappointment. He wasn’t sure if it was him or the universe that had given her that look but he understood it. Kylo had felt the same way when he was young, each time she brushed off his nightmares. He wondered how it was that when he felt she could really understand him that they would never be able to get through the past.

She took the padd and let down his guard looking at it, making sure it wasn’t false information.

“I’m glad you’re leaving them Ben. We could use you on our side.”

“I have no plans on joining the resistance; if you destroy Snoke I think you will find the General a much better leader.”

Leia opened her mouth and he could see the argument on her lips. He didn’t want to think about the Order right now, possibly ever again, the ideals that he had hung onto now felt empty.

“We do not have time to stay for long, make sure that you use this information quickly. As soon as they realise that I have no intention to return the information will no longer be good.”

“You should return with me, I am sure you could redeem yourself. Over time you would be welcome.”

He wondered if she had missed Dopheld pressed up against the blast door. 

“And more that would make sure that I ended up in the same condition Dopheld did when he returned to me. I have no more want to be attached to the Resistance than I do with the Order.”

There was that familiar clench of jaw that told him she wouldn’t let it go. 

“I am going to contact you again.”

Kylo almost argued, but maybe with the loss of everything else he might be able to gain something.

“I’ll leave the communicator open; just don’t think you can find me through it.”

With that he knew they had to leave. Time was running out. He didn’t want to say bye, or go through the awkwardness he knew that would follow, so he turned to leave. A small hand grabbed his arm and he tensed. The fact that Dopheld hadn’t shot kept him from reacting.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

There was so much blood on his hands he was no longer sure what she meant. 

“Leave the Order.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, it had started with the death of his father. About how it had made him weaker, another one of Snoke’s lies. It was one too many to ignore, and the threat against Dopheld had finally made him take action. There were many small things, but in the end he knew what would matter the most to her. It was the truth if he hadn't known what happened the last time he may have made the same mistake with Dopheld.

“Because of Han.”

He felt the blow on his cheek, and before he could react it was followed by her arms around him. She hardly came up to his chest, and he watched as if he was not a part of it, like it was happening to someone else. 

“You foolish boy.”

The sadness was louder than the anger; it didn’t matter though the past was choking him. It all felt like too much and he shook her off. 

“We should leave.”

Kylo’s steps were unsteady the rest of the way back to the ship and he hated the weakness in him. His eyes felt wet as he closed the blast doors and he was just thankful that Dopheld didn’t say anything about it. 

He also hated that she always made him feel like he was still a child.


	17. Chapter 17

Kylo had had a small outburst after he returned to the ship, but he had locked himself in the command quarters to do it. Leaving Dopheld to wince at the noise he heard as he started them on their course away from the trackers they had left on the planet. 

There was silence that followed that, and he tried to get himself to relax. Dopheld knew this was worth it, and Kylo had never been able to calm himself, one small outburst could hardly be held against him when he at least excused himself to have it. 

It still made him worried, they had a long way to go and he would feel better if Kylo was beside him manning the controls. 

He didn’t really know where they were going now, and he looked over the maps and had picked a few planets where they could offload some of the items, trade now before they got further and the market would likely be tougher to trade in. 

Dopheld asked permission to land and then when they were on the ground he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. 

He crept to the door and rang in, waiting until the door opened instead of trying to enter. 

Kylo was looking tired, his eyes red rimmed, but thankfully other than a few beat up looking med kits the room seemed like it wasn’t worse for wear. 

“We need to sell some of the cargo, it’s weighing us down and it’s going to just get harder to sell.”

Kylo nodded and Dopheld almost reached out to him as he passed him. 

Instead he let Kylo look through the items and head off. 

Dopheld didn’t really enjoy being on the ground, so he stayed behind and actually looked through what personal items Kylo had bought. He started collecting them all up, both of their clothing and hanging what he could in the small closet and rolling the rest up and placing it in a crate. He tried to make it easy to find and easy to collect up if they found somewhere to stay. 

Each time he tucked one of Kylo’s shirt in beside one of his own he couldn’t help but get a giddy smile. A smile that turned into a bright flush on his cheeks when he found the small crate of lubricant. He supposed that it wouldn’t expire for a long time and they wouldn’t know how easy it was to get when they moved on, but he still felt a little shy. 

Kylo had been thinking about wanting him while he was purchasing the items they would need in the future. He supposed that if they had months of supplies that it only made sense. Dopheld still didn’t move it to the room with the rest of their personal items. He would just politely let Kylo think that he hadn’t seen it. 

It wasn’t much longer and Kylo returned and unloaded a few things. He was speaking to an alien Dopheld couldn’t place in a language he couldn’t understand. 

The exchange seemed favourable though, the case of credits that Kylo returned with looked like a lot. Not that he really understood outside finance yet. He had only really worked within the First Order since he was old enough to. It would be another thing that Kylo would have to help him with. He would have to depend on Kylo for a lot. 

When Kylo seemed content with the amount of trades he had done, they dug through the tech they still had and arranged it so that it took up less space. He felt sweat on his back by the time they finished and he was panting with the effort. 

They didn’t talk about what had happened between Kylo and General Organa, or anything really. Their thoughts on what was to come. 

“Do you think we are safe now?”

Kylo gave a small shake of his head. 

“I would have felt it in the force if Snoke’s life ended.”

“How much longer do you think we have?”

Kylo actually looked at time. It was still synced up to the Finalizer. 

“One day at the most. If I remember correctly there should be another place to offload a bit more, it’s out of range for most of the Order. Then we can keep going until we find a place to stay.”

Dopheld gave him a tentative smile. 

It would be a month of more before they felt safe to stop, even without the trackers, but for now it was something to hang onto.

“We’ll get there.”

Kylo gave him a gentle shove and then pulled him into a hug. It wasn’t really like any other they had shared, Kylo clung to him, his nose buried in his hair and he didn’t let go. Dopheld didn’t push him away though, he just let his body relax from the touch. He could smell the sweat and dirt of Kylo and he rubbed his cheek against his chest, not caring if he got dirty. They could shower together that night. 

When he finally felt Kylo’s arms loosening he pulled back. 

“I’ll pilot, you man the guns?”

Kylo nodded in agreement, and Dopheld felt a little bit of excitement. Kylo had always been a higher rank, it felt good to be able to be the one to suggest how they work. 

With that Kylo finally released him, but they walked together to the front of the craft. Feeling it lift into the air again gave him some satisfaction. 

Then he saw the ships, there was only half a dozen, but they were unmistakeable. First Order tie fighters. There was probably a star destroyer within rang. The space beyond them seemed so far away.

As if Kylo felt his fear his voice was low and soothing.

“It’s alright, they shouldn’t know yet.”

Dopheld nodded and sent them a message with Kylo’s command codes and orders to clean the path. 

The ships hung in place and the response left dread in every inch of his body. 

‘No ship is allowed to change position unless under the order of the Supreme Leader. Respond with order number.’

“Kylo?”

He looked over the screen, and typed in a code hitting send.

‘Expired code, respond with current code.’

“We’ll make a run for it, we just need to get past them and we can jump to hyperspace.”

Dopheld remembered the last time they had had this conversation, it felt desperately hopeless. 

“I love you.”

He said the words, just in case he wouldn’t get another chance.

“We’ll make it.”

Kylo responded as if he knew what prompted the confession. He looked calm as he started to light up the weapons, preparing for their next move. 

“I just wanted you to know that.”

Dopheld swallowed and took over manual control as he boosted their speed. He loved the way the command shuttle responded to the softest command.

Kylo opened up fire at almost the same time, taking out one of the tie-fighters before they started to move into formation. 

Dopheld knew that their lives were in his hands and he clenched his jaw in determination as he tried to avoid the hits against their shields. Just a little further. 

He saw another one blow as Kylo got a direct hit and he celebrated in his mind. It was short as the ship shook under the returned blasts. 

Dopheld’s chest felt tight, but it gave them what they needed. He couldn’t spare a second thought to the man beside him as Kylo slipped from his chair and hit the ground. 

The shields were failing, but this time he knew they could make it. When the stars started to blur across the sky he laughed with the sheer amazement. Only then could he give himself a moment to think about Kylo. 

Since they wouldn’t be able to follow them through hyperspace he kept going for just a little longer before dropping out. Plotting a short course he moved to the floor himself rolling Kylo over and looking at him. 

After checking that he was still breathing he shook him. There was no movement and he tried harder.

“You’re not getting off this easy, now is when I really need you.”

He accused as he desperately tried in any way that he could to get Kylo to wake. Dopheld refused to allow himself to break down over this. Not after all they had been through.

He pounded his chest one last time before sitting back on his knees. They had the broken medbot, he could use that. 

It took longer than he would like to admit to drag the heavy bot to Kylo, but of the two it was lighter than Kylo was. 

He got it to run scan after scan, only feeling more worried as it found nothing and yet Kylo was still not responding. 

“Wake up you asshole.”

Dopheld swore before regretting it almost immediately. 

“I don’t even know where we’re going.”

His voice sounded steady despite the fear he was feeling. His life had been spent in the Order, he didn’t know much beyond it.


	18. Chapter 18

The world felt dull, he’d remembered the pain and anger and betrayal hitting him like lightning and then there was nothing. 

As he came back his whole mind felt different. His head felt empty, like a weight he hadn’t realised was there was finally missing. 

Most of all he felt free.

He felt a soft hit against his chest and with a little effort he opened his eyes. Kylo felt entirely flattened by the last push from Snoke, but it was good to see Dopheld. He was trying to place what they had been doing, and then he remembered the ships. 

The lieutenant must have taken care of it on his own. Kylo’s arms shook but he grabbed Dopheld and pulled him to his chest, hearing the jumbled noises of relief and anger flowing from him. 

An almost hysterical laughed slipped out of Kylo’s lips. 

Each moment he was feeling a little more awake, a little more aware. 

“What the hell was that, what happened to you?”

Dopheld struggled against him, but not so hard that he was willing to let go yet. He swore he could feel an ache in every last muscle in his body, even ones he didn’t know he had, but he was too cheerful to let it force him to let go. 

“The Supreme Leader’s dead, I felt him die.”

“Are you okay?”

This time when he pinned Dopheld down to his body the other man let him.

“Yes, I will be. Are we safe? We made it through the ships in one piece?”

“We are safe.”

With that he heard a laugh that sounded just as hysterical as his own. This was a new state of being for the both of them. 

The playful excitement was quickly becoming more as Dopheld wiggled against him. His face was lit up like Kylo had never seen before, and Kylo wanted to be close to that joy. 

His hold on the other man tightened and his hands roamed downward. The freedom they now shared gave them a heady drunkenness, and he palmed his ass roughly. Dopheld started to grind against his thigh, his laughter sounding musical. 

“We should either get back to the controls or find somewhere to land.”

He managed to get out despite the kisses that Kylo was peppering over his face. The last thing Kylo wanted was to give Dopheld up. 

“Land.”

“You’ll have to let me go.”

Dopheld didn’t even try to get away; instead he started returning the kisses, catching his lips with his own. Kylo allowed himself a taste of Dopheld, using it to chase away the metallic flavour that had filled his mouth since he had woken up. 

He wanted the weight of Dopheld’s smaller body on him for a longer time, now that they were truly free to enjoy their time but he finally let him go. 

Dopheld seemed to be having the same reservations as him about letting go. They had worked towards this for so long. It was hard not to get caught up in the celebration. 

Only after one last kiss did Dopheld get off him, hurrying to the console to land them for the night. In the morning they could finish their trip. Staying put would keep them hidden and allow the Order to fall into confusion as they switched leaders. If they were lucky no one would even come after them. 

It took a few attempts to stand himself, his body aching with the effort. He hadn’t expected to feel so completely flattened out, but the elation kept it from seeming like a chore. 

Again he let Dopheld pilot the ship, he could feel his emotions pouring off him like they used to. No control whatsoever even if he looked calm, it was part of what he loved about Dopheld. This wasn’t the same old fear though. This was excitement and pleasure. 

Kylo clung to the back of the seat to help himself stand and he used the time to find his legs again. He tried to pull in as much energy as he could, so that he could be ready when they landed. 

Dopheld pulled them onto a moon of an empty planet, setting them down. 

The shaky way he was feeling must have been more apparent than he thought before Dopheld scooted out of his seat and under his arm to act as a crutch while they walked back to his quarters. 

“I think you need to rest.”

“I need you.”

“Ridiculous.”

Dopheld scolded, but it was softened with a smile and a kiss against his jaw. He was feeling steady enough that he only leaned on Dopheld to be close to him as they made their way back. 

Once inside he pretended to fall against the bed so he could drag the shorter man over him. 

“Didn’t I tell you we would make it?”

Dopheld only laughed in response and buried his face in Kylo’s chest. 

They had never thought much past getting free; they would have to figure out what they wanted from here. All Kylo knew was that he wanted Dopheld at that moment. 

“Let me see your face.”

Dopheld looked up, his face brilliant. Kylo wondered how he had ever been able to look at him without losing his breath. Even with the scarring on his cheek and the implant showing on his jaw Kylo had never seen someone so perfect. He knew it was bias from his feelings about Dopheld but he didn’t care.

He could feel how the excitement was affecting them both, the press of Dopheld against his thigh and it didn’t matter how tired he was. Kylo needed to be closer to him. 

Dopheld was the one to move first through, his hands sliding inside his shirt and undoing it on the way down. It was bold for Dopheld, and Kylo was going to enjoy every second of it. He let Dopheld take charge, and mirrored him, so that they were undressing each other. First peeling off the layers to his shirt, and then struggling with his trousers. 

Neither of them were used to civilian clothing, and it showed in how much they fumbled. The heat was broken by their shared laughter as Kylo pulled on a tie to undo Dopheld’s pants but instead tightened the knot further. 

In frustration he tore it, and shoved them down to bare pale thighs. Dopheld’s skin was the only thing that mattered to him at the moment. 

“Careful.”

Was all Dopheld said in the way of protest, his own hands busy as they snuck under the waistband of his underwear. 

Kylo’s response was a contented sigh, pushing his hips forward to encourage him. He even rocked his hips so that his cock slid through Dopheld’s fingers. It was only the start and it just made him want to be closer. 

“The bed please.”

“Alight but you’re sitting down, I don’t want you to overdo it.”

Concern with the first hint of an order, Dopheld had never been so forward. 

“Getting bossy now that we are out of the Order are we?”

He teased while obeying, first sliding onto the bed and leaning against the wall before kicking off the last of his clothing. His erection was full against his stomach and he waited impatiently as Dopheld stripped off the last of his own and climbed onto the bed. There was no grace to speak of in his movements, but they were so very much Dopheld, all excitement and willingness to please. 

As soon as he moved over him Kylo grabbed him again, pulling him down so that their chests were pressed together as he kissed him. 

He could feel the joy in Dopheld, how he wasted no time in invading his mouth and how he roughly sucked on his tongue all teeth and nips.

Having Dopheld straddle pinned their cocks between them and he could feel Dopheld already rocking against him as they hungrily kissed. Kylo started to join him in the movement, rutting so that they rubbed together. 

“Inside me.”

Dopheld pulled back enough to mumble, before continuing. Kylo knew what he meant and he pushed into his mind, opening his own up as well. It was becoming so common between them that it felt natural. 

He hummed into the kiss as Dopheld’s emotions and thoughts washed over him. There was something so soothing about how steady his mind was, even with the tickling of anxiety in the back of his thoughts the rest was like a lake. There were no ripples in his trust in Kylo; there was no doubt in the way that he felt about him. It was something so foreign to him, that someone would put so much faith in him even after all the mistakes he had made. 

Kylo knew that Dopheld could feel those thoughts in him, and he didn’t care because he knew it didn’t scare him. 

Dopheld kept rocking against him, but it wasn’t enough, he needed more friction. He needed to be closer. 

Kylo broke the kiss and turned his head, looking for the lubricant and calling it to his hand. 

“Useful.”

Dopheld laughed as he tried to take it from his hands.

“No, let me prepare you.”

That was enough to stop the struggle and Dopheld leaned into him and lifted his ass a little, obediently waiting for him. It didn’t stop his hands though, running over his shoulders and playing with the hair on the back of his neck. He could even feel Dopheld’s mouth as it ghosted along his neck. 

Kylo pressed a few more kisses against Dopheld’s cheek before he popped open the bottle and squeezed a little onto his fingers. 

He coated them and then took on a little more, rubbing it around Dopheld’s hole. He could feel it tense under his fingers at the chill and it only made him want him more. Kylo wanted nothing more than to feel that around his cock. 

He knew a lot of it was the rush, adding to his arousal, but he could see how Dopheld was feeling the same way. When he didn’t move fast enough Dopheld pushed down against his hand. It was enough of an invitation that he pressed a finger inside him. 

Dopheld made the best sound he’d heard in a long time. He didn’t bite it back like he normally did; he let the moan roll out of his throat as Kylo pushed inside him. Just one finger at first, trying to be the responsible one and make sure they didn’t move too fast. All they had done was for the man in his arms, who was pushing down against the finger inside him, moving with Kylo so that each time he stroked over his prostate it stayed a little longer. 

He added a second finger and felt the bloom of pleasure through his mind. It always made him feel like Dopheld was his when he was inside his body. His cock twitched at the thought, and he was almost desperate to be fully inside him. The third finger came quickly, and Dopheld was doing more than rocking down on him, he could feel the muscles of his thighs working as he started to fuck himself on them. 

Instead of asking for more Dopheld snatched up the lube beside them and started coating his cock. He gasped at the cold but he was feeling the same impatience and let him finish. With that he slid his fingers out and let Dopheld be the one to sit himself back. 

The movement showed the desperation both of them were feeling as he moved too quickly, taking most of him in one quick movement. 

Kylo could feel how tight he was, how the walls of his ass were so tight around his cock as he forced himself all the way down. In Dopheld’s mind he could feel the ache, but it was followed by the feeling of satisfaction as he took it all. 

“Fuck you’re so tight.”

Kylo praised, Dopheld who not yet moving. His cheeks were pink and Kylo could feel how he was struggling not to pull off, forcing his body to adjust to the feeling. 

It had been a few days or this would have been easier, Dopheld’s body adjusting to taking him.

There was something about knowing that he was forcing Dopheld open, and yet Dopheld not only allowed him to fuck him, but he wanted it. He seemed to love how Kylo felt inside him and how after a few rounds he would be stretched out and sore for a while, but his body would also take Kylo easier. 

Kylo loved it too, seeing Dopheld’s hole gaping as he pulled out, and how he would try to tense his sore fucked out muscles. 

He started moving first, but Dopheld quickly followed suit, pushing down on Kylo’s hip so that he was the one doing all the work. 

Even if Kylo wasn’t in his mind he would have known by how hard the younger man was, how his cock was flushed and leaking as he fucked himself on Kylo. He could also feel the embarrassment Dopheld felt over his wants.

“Rest, let me.”

He gasped out, his thighs trembling a little as he pushed himself all the way down again. Kylo’s hand was still behind him, cupping his ass, and he moved his fingers so that he could feel where they were joined, how tight Dopheld ass was around him. Feeling from the outside and inside as Dopheld took him all in again. 

“You’re mine.” 

Kylo murmured against his lips, rocking his hips the small amount that Dopheld would allow.

“I’m yours sir, no one has opened me up like this, gotten so deep.”

Dopheld replied all breathy, as he settled down on him again. 

There was the use of sir again, something no longer needed, but obviously still wanted. He had long since picked up on the way that Dopheld liked to call him sir in bed.

“I’m going to come inside you so you won’t forget that, lieutenant.”

That got another helpless moan from Dopheld, and he could feel him speeding up. He leaned back just a little so that he was using Kylo’s cock to fuck his prostate; it allowed Kylo to better see him. 

The hand he wasn’t using to feel himself entering Dopheld he brought up so that he could push two fingers into Dopheld’s mouth. He obediently started sucking them, acting like he would if he was Kylo’s cock. 

The noises he made were becoming steady as Dopheld kept working around him. Losing all semblance of formed words as it turned into stuttered praise around his fingers. 

He could feel Dopheld struggling to tighten around him, already so stretched out that he could hardly add more pressure to it. Kylo knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, the excitement and the way Dopheld looked on top of him was enough that he was using the force to hold back. 

Dopheld didn’t seem to think the same way, spattering over Kylo’s chest. It didn’t stop him through, he kept fucking himself through his orgasm and Kylo held on long enough that he could see he was shaking from the over stimulation. 

He moved his hand from Dopheld’s mouth to his hip and pinned him all the way down as he finally let go and with his other hand he felt himself as he released inside of him, feeling his cock pumping him full of his come. 

The rush of tension through his body left him feeling completely relaxed and Kylo shifted so that both arms were around Dopheld pulling him to his chest even though he was still inside him. 

Dopheld hummed and snuggled closer, wrapping his arms around him and laying little kisses against his neck. He could still feel that Dopheld’s thighs were trembling but he made no move to try to move off of his cock.

He let Dopheld feel his warm emotion in a response to what Dopheld had said before he lost consciousness. When he felt the same in return he pressed a kiss to his forehead and leaned against the wall. Kylo never believed he would have someone he cared about like this, but he understood now so much of why people fought for their loved ones. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for Dopheld.

Kylo’s body was still aching but it didn’t feel that important anymore. All that mattered was the man in his arms holding onto him. They would need to figure out a plan from here, but when he had Dopheld’s warm body wrapped around him it didn’t seem like such a big deal.


	19. Chapter 19

Dopheld looked at the documents in front of him, after six long months of living first on Kylo’s command shuttle and then later on a small ship they bought to replace it, it was almost mind blowing to think they would have their own property. Even with all the changes that Kylo had made to the ship it was still just that.

“I couldn’t risk anyone finding us.”

Kylo said and at first Dopheld didn’t get what he was talking about.

And then he did.

The land was bought in the name of Ben Skywalker and Dopheld Skywalker. 

“Skywalker?”

“It was my grandfather’s name, I thought it was fitting.”

“I like it.”

“Good, because I already got the corresponding identities made.”

He had left it up to Kylo, not wanting to have to figure out how to do another illegal thing. Instead he had found the planets that he thought would suit them. Kylo had taken it from there. 

“Thank you.”

Dopheld replied, before pausing. They both shared the same last name.

“So we're married?”

“I suppose we are.”

Kylo had a smirk on his face that told Dopheld he had done that on purpose. He felt the click in the mechanics of his jaw as he smiled back at him. 

“Then tell me about our new home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay :D Thank you everyone for joining me on part two of this story :D I look so forward to starting the third and last part, and hope you are all looking forward to it too haha. It's mostly fluffy and soft just to warn you, and it's about their life past the Order.


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